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02 June 2003 - 10:22 I was having a laugh the other week in some magazine about a group of girls who were being interviewed in some swanky Toronto bar, about what attracted them to men. Usual blah blah blah�job, car, clothes, hair, personal hygiene, physique, attitude, confidence etc� and these women would unabashedly categorize men into groups based on the above and various character traits. So it struck me that I don�t think I�ve ever read something similar from the male perspective. And, people, argue the point with me here, but there is a very real misconception that men seen only 2 things initially� T & A right? Well perhaps that�s not such a huge misconception�I�ll be the first to admit it�initially, but I think there are huge comparisons in the initial �scan� that us animals do. It�s all about the physical, and what women look for � security, strength, confidence relates directly to what they look for first in a guy, in the same way that men look at�well what they look at. Personally I do look at the above mentioned as part of the overall picture. I think women are beautiful people, but I also think that the beauty includes, a great smile, eyes, mouth, face� My point being, that EVERY man will cast his first vote based on a picture, a small amount of which is picked up upon by women and for which we are forever judged. (I think the official word is that we are checking out a future mate�s ability to bear child!) Here comes the fun part: Once we cast our vote we are categorized by the way that we deal with it, or more prevalently by the way we chase, we are all primal creatures, and chasing is very much a part of the game. The �how� rather than the �what� defines our categorization. And this is what got me thinking: (How terribly �Sex in the City�) So to counter the male categorization process, I have decided (probably foolishly) to create my own list of female types. Of course, If I�m going to believe my own argument then you have to know a little about my chasing style to know where I�m coming from, capiche? OK�I hope we�re keeping up with each other here � I am, barely, with myself, so I can only imagine� I am a guy who hates having to �break� the ice. I get very shy around women who I am attracted to. Perhaps even intimidated. I have an abundance of confidence in myself, but I find it very difficult to create that �ultimate� first impression�not too cocky, not too shy, intelligent, funny, grounded etc�I am very much the �Chandler� to other people�s �Joey�. I am hopeless at meeting people in club/bar settings. I need some kind of rapport or common ground, and so virtually every girl I have approached or �started the dance� with, I have met through others friends etc � However, when I have dared the chase with someone I never met before it goes a little like this: I need a signal to make moves. Women rarely give obvious signals, so it�s a little hit and miss. Bear in mind that at this point, no words have been spoken. There does need to be some kind of mutual acknowledgement that communication lines are open and available. (I am constantly amazed by the ability of guys to wade in and talk to someone because he likes her �style�.) So, assuming that that is in order, usually, by some kind of eye contact, smile, whatever, the game is afoot and I meet the following types�
This is a simple one: They, when approached have the ability to turn back as if you don�t exist. Usually accompanied by other girlfriends who aid and abet.
Always a disappointment, because you get that smile and then the question: �What do you do?� followed by the look of abject disgust when you tell them that you are not, obviously capable of being in their �league��or whatever that means
This is the one who will tolerate you as long as you are the best specimen on offer at that current time. Always looking over her shoulder for better offers, and always has the tag �you touch you buy�.
Great � you haven�t been rejected, so you make the plunge and tell them who you are and try to find out who they are�get a little rapport going, and that�s when you realize that they have nothing to say about themselves and are quite content to stand and watch you sweat it like an audition, creating a Shakespearian monologue to be insightful and inspire response. Tough work and you end up wishing you had ended up with �Option 1�.
As with 3, only as soon as you make that smile and then open your mouth to talk � they are off, like a startled racehorse, reciting �War and Peace� and an inane story about an incident that happened to their work colleague and some emotional incident that just simply �isn�t right�. And where did that soapbox come from?
Usually lined up with group of friends. Conversation is going good and yet, suddenly, for no apparent reason the brakes come on and the walls of Jericho are built. She has realized telepathic disapproval from said group of friends. The gates have been locked and you are on the outside.
This one � I quite like. Because I think I can deal. Usually very intense from the outset. Very touchy feely from the outset. It�s all from the mind and it gives me the challenge to make a humorous quip work to break that intensity. If I can, I can move forward. If I can�t, I may be taken over and join some cult. Obviously I missed out the good ones, but we all know the good ones are about balance, right? And that works for the guys too� So we have our traits when it comes to the chase, so do the women. I ran this by a number of guy friends and they grinned with approval as they read this� The chase is hard work, egos are bruised, and egos can be inflated. Humans are primal beings who have developed a pseudo intelligence to psychoanalyze and articulate this kind of stuff. I imagine that the reality of human behaviour has changed little over the last gazillion years, but the articulation of it has evolved into something which we can laugh at. I hope no one takes it seriously. Because I�m sure that in 2000 years, men will be staring at T&A, and women will be mocking their chasing style. I hope so. Kind of keeps us all interesting�
   My life is rated NC-17. What is your life rated? |
