The one about the perfect gift
The bane of almost every man's existence: Shopping for his partner's *ahem*:
"PERFECT GIFT"
Whether it be Birthday, Valentine, Christmas, Anniversary, Hallowe'en, Laundry Day, whatever, the female expects. She expects:
"THOUGHT".
"CARE-FILLED THOUGHT".
To prove a number of things...
1) That you paid attention - she has been laying hints for some time. How alert are you? It will show her that you have been paying attention? Does she REALLY want that Beer hat? Really?
2) That you know who she is. Really. Know. Who is her favourite band of the moment. What song has she been humming incessantly? Is she creative? Does a frying pan tell her that you know her?
3) That she's special. She deserves a pampering, coz let's face it gentlemen. She puts up with your rank hockey socks, cups and skidmarks, your drunken warblings and your Kate Winslet infatuation...
4) To prove her wrong Yeah. That's right. Prove her wrong. She doesn't think you have it. You haven't got it in you. To be all of the above. This is another test. A test in which B+ just:
"DOESN'T CUT THE MUSTARD"
Don't believe me?
Then explain to me, if you will, why Christmas Eve is a frenzy of men rushing around every Body Shop, La Senza and every sparkly jewellery store in the land?? It's cuz deep down, we all know. And cuz, regardless as to what we have purchased until that point, we have been programmed to second guess ourselves... Is it sparkly enough... Is it given with just the right amount of...
..."LOVE"
I have searched. High and ...um ...low. For the perfect balance between practical and decadence. What she needs with what she wants...
What a girl wants...
What a girl needs...
Whatever makes her happy...
...and set's her free...
Hmmmmmmmmmmm......*scratches chin*