How to make a procrasto
Ingredients:
5 parts competetiveness
5 parts brilliance
3 parts leadership
Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add fitness to taste! Do not overindulge!

10 December 2004 - 13:07

"A super hero for the kids in the bottles..."

The one about being hard work...

A couple of days ago my sister had a "Christmas Social" a her new import business - inviting anyone who wanted to come to have a look at the inventory and to purchase at will.

Of course Jen and I were invited, and we duly obliged; both, for whatever reason absolutely exhausted. Still, it was my sister's do and I couldn't let her down.

Now I don't know about you, but when I'm tired and placed in a room with a large number of people who I really don't know from Adam, I find it excruciatingly painful to lift my social graces and employ witty yet thought provoking conversation. In fact, it takes every ounce of energy that I have to use words with more than one syllable. And that's in English. My French disappears in the greatest escape since the masked magician...

...so all I'm left with are monosyllabic grunts, an eye-twitch and a brain full of nothing. Am I the only one who suffers from this??

Picture this: Scenario One: The old friend of sister who I met for three seconds 3 years ago while engrossed in Habs game

Friend: Hey. Isn't this show marvellous.

Procrasto: Yes. Totaly eclectic. Marvellous.

Friend: Do you think you'd fit any of this stuff into your place...

Procrasto: That's the thing, you can't just buy one thing. You know? It's nice to be eclectic and to have different pieces of furniture, you know, but if there's no theme to the eclectessness then, it just doesn't work. And then what you have is a mish-mash of stuff, which doesn't go together (*starts to realise that I'm starting to sound grinchlike and negative and bumbly*), but you know that's OK too... see, cuz... um... well...

Friend: Uh. Yeah...

Procrasto: But yeah. (*shuffles feet. Hard to maintain eye contact*) Eclectic.

Friend: (*looks around for saviour from nosensical fool*)

Procrasto: So you like the cheese here?

Friend: *walks away*

Scenario 2: The introduction to a complete stranger via sister

Sister (to stranger): So this is Procrasto, my brother.

Stranger:Hi Procrasto, how are you

Procrasto: Hi Stranger. That's a nice tie.

Stranger: Um thanks. (*silence for a couple of moments*) So your sister has put on a great display.

Procrasto: Yes. Yes she has.

Stranger: (*brief silence*) The furniture is fascinating, don't you think?

Procrasto: Yes. Eclectic.

Stranger: (*looks around for saviour from inarticluate fool*)

Procrasto: So you like the cheese here?

Stranger: *walks away*

Yup. I am a social disgrace when it comes to picking myself up and making an effort to being articluate and engaging in any way when I'm tired. I'm glad I don't have to see these people for a very long time... but there has to be a knack: tips for getting over this... I'm a facilitator and trainer by trade... I have no problem in illiciting relevant responses from people in the work place... yet in social situations I can be devastatingly hard work!

How do YOU do it?

Am I alone?

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