I found myself doing my finances yesterday. It's not pretty. After an 8 month layoff, I seem to be in a hole which is brutally difficult to get out of. I know I let some credit card payments slip and teh suchlike and I feel as though I'm in a terminal state of 'catch-up'.

I called the bank to see if I could consolodate my debts with a low rate loan. They pretty much laughed at me and said that they could do that, but won't until I am more "stable".

I asked what that meant. They said 6 months without any credit defaults. So I told them my story and asked them to look at my squeaky clean credit history prior to my layoff.

Which they didn't question, but had to recognize the "here and now" situation.

I told her I had to prioritize. She told me she understood.

This system sucks. The fucking corporation sucks. The big moose-cocks.

I guess what really sucks is that I know there is a system out there to help me, but it can't because of black and white rules and red tape. Which I know sounds so damn naive, but is something I have no control over whatsoever.

It's a well known irony that when you don't need money, because you have it, the banks and the suchlike just throw it at you. Don't people take out loans because they need it? I guess I'm also pissed at being branded a bad-payer because of a time that was out of my control. When, in fact, I managed to balance and juggle my finances really quite marvellously.

I never missed a rent payment.

And another thing. You can never talk about your finances with people. Especially not your financial woes. It makes people feel uncomfortable, like you're mooching. Like you're subliminally trying to ask for money or something. It's a CONCERN! I'm trying to easy my blood pressure by letting it out and talking about it. GAH!!

Whatever. I'm venting because I feel penned, enclosed, typecast.

On the plus side Great Big Sea are coming back to town for the first time in 2 years!!

20th November at the Metropolis - the biggest kitchen party this side of St Johns.

I better pinch those pennies.

I wouldn't bet against visitations this Christmas.

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