This morning as I was pandering around my condo, avoiding the psycho jungle cat, and getting ready for the day�s activity, I took a glimpse out of the window.

There was an ambulance. And a gurney. And a person in the gurney. Covered.

Thing is that last night as I got home, I noticed the pile of blankets and personal effects, and assumed a homeless guy had set up �home� for the night. (I live directly across from an old listed, yet derelict building). Poor bastard didn�t make it through the night. Maybe didn�t make it through the night before. I don�t know.

When I was 23 I worked for the Lincolnshire Youth Service. Fresh out of University, a qualified teacher, a man with a mission and an opportunity to change the world. Or at least some of the kids from the Ermine council estate. My mandate, among other things was to build a loose curriculum which would justify the existence of the centre from a cultural and educational perspective and also ensure that the city council would continue the much needed funding.

At the time, this was perfect for me. I was a kid with a cause.

So I started finding out what was important to kids who frequented the center. What kind of environment they came from. What were their fears? What were their prejudices? What were their opinions on things like, politics, drugs, sex and rock and roll?

And little by little, through this analysis, I was able to build a curriculum based on communications, personal issues and self awareness. Which the council loved.

Then one day, one of the kids said: �Jock?� (They called me that � it means something different over there) �Why don�t we do something for a local charity� you know� raise some money for drug abuse or the homeless or something��

To me that was a personal success. I had reached out to one kid and had made him care about his environment enough to want to do something about it.

So after polling the kids, we decided to do a sponsored sleep out for the homeless charity, Shelter. A night out in the Ermine woods with no luxuries. No fire, no blankets. Nothing.

We raised close to $3000 that night, which I had the greatest pleasure of delivering to the Shelter office in front of Lincolnshire Echo cameras. (I wished they hadn�t been there. But the council wanted the positive publicity). I was given a tour of the offices and of the hall where they fed and temporarily housed some of the homeless guys. It was empty, because they get kicked out during the day, but it was like a huge dormitory, with various camp beds small dividers. It reminded me of a M*A*S*H hospital, and I expected Alan Alda to hop out at any second�

Needless to say, it was a new cause. I volunteered. And worked on some nights off. I�d see some of the guys on the street during the day and would always go and say hi and see if everything was OK. They were all, with the exception of one or two, super nice people with great personalities and a great sense of humour.

But one day something changed. I realized I couldn�t continue doing what I was doing and pay the bills. So I joined the corporate world of adult education. Continued for a while with the youth service, but had to give up my Shelter work. Then I was transferred to Nottingham in my corporate role. I had to give up the Youth work.

And I settled into my comfortable job with my shirt and tie and lost my cause.

Now, ten years later, I looked out the window of my comfortable two storey condo, and watched a dead homeless guy get carted off somewhere, and find myself wondering if I stopped caring. 10 years ago, I would have hopped up the stairs to the pile of blankets and seen if everything was OK. But I guess after a good meal with wine it was just too much for me to do.

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