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3 parts leadership
Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add fitness to taste! Do not overindulge!

28 August 2003 - 16:48

"A super hero for the kids in the bottles..."

The one about betrayal

Sometimes I can't believe how hurtful people can be - especially when the "people" you refer to are members or a member of your own family.

I am moving into my new condo this Sunday with my roommate. Well technically - it's not my condo fully just yet. It belongs to my folks. I have my mortgage approved and everything is set to go - I am just saving my down payment and struck a deal with my parents that I would rent it from them for a year and as soon as I had all the necessary monies to put down, I would be good to go. A deal. So - to all intensive purposes - it's my condo from the 1st of September.

Meanwhile my sister has been living there rent-free for the past 5 months. Knowing that I was going to be moving in now.

A little bit of history - she originally bought the place when she was splitting up with her now ex (which we all told her was a bad idea) in an effort to try and bring some stability into their lives. Which in fact created the opposite and they split. My folks, being the saints that they are bailed both of them out and took on the place themselves. Which they didn't need to do. But they did. To save a lot of pain for my sister in terms of selling and losing a crap lot of money. A little while later - they asked me if I was interested in taking it on myself, which of course I was. But I wasn't in a position to do that at the time as I was locked into my lease - so we cut our deal. And meanwhile my little sister has been living there rent-free. Did I mention rent-free? Yeah - rent-free.

So I get a call from my dad this morning. He tells me that my sister has announced that she is not moving out and will be buying the property.

"But", I say, "we have a deal...and do you know how many days are left before I am meant to be moving?"

At which point my mother starts on some rant about finances and value and what's better for everyone. A rant which lasts some 10 minutes. At the end she says, "So - what do you think". And I tell them this:

"I am fucking livid. I am sitting in my chair shaking with rage. She has obviously made no effort to find somewhere to live but did manage to find 3 weeks to jet set across India when she should have been looking for somewhere to live. And now she is laying a load of absolute of emotional blackmail bullshit on you because she was the one that found the place and expects us all to bend over backwards AGAIN to accommodate her mistakes." Dammit - she was with me when I spent $3000 on appliances so that she could live there!

My dad agreed.

My mum started to disagree and I told her not to go there.

I spoke to my sister thereafter and asked her what the hell she was doing. She told me that it was not fair that I should take the place and that I didn't deserve it.

I DIDN'T DESERVE IT?

She said that because she had spent the hell of a time looking for the place and they thought they had found their perfect place.

Reality?

They had argued and fought and should NEVER have bought the damn place. And out parents fixed their problem.

I didn't deserve it.

She told me that it had landed in my lap because of their misfortune and that I was wallowing in it. She was there when I spent $3000 on appliances 5 months earlier so that she could move in. She was there when I donated the microwave and other various bits and pieces. She was there when I set up the telephone line for her so that she could live there and communicate.

I didn't deserve it.

She told me that she has been through a tough time in the last nine months and this was the first time she had some stability.

I didn't deserve it, because in the last 18 months I have lived in shithouses, had to rebuild myself and my possessions and so when the one good opportunity came along.....?

I didn't deserve it.

I can't think of a more self centered, cruel and hurtful thing to say. To anyone. Let alone your brother. Who has been there at the drop of a hat when required and not been there when space was needed.

I feel utterly betrayed by my very own sister.

Through the day - this situation resolved itself. I will be moving in on Sunday as first agreed.

But after her outbursts of the past summer and her emotional manipulation of her family, I feel like I don't know her.

And worse, I feel like I don't want to know her.

I'm sorry - I feel pretty damn emotional right now.

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