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05 June 2003 - 14:33 OK - further to my cell phone idea I have come up with some definate enhancements. It goes a little like this... As mentioned, the mouthpiece should have a built in breathalizer which will deactivate your cellphone...WITH THE EXCEPTION OF a couple of predefined emergency numbers... and they have to be submitted when sober (breathalize test completed)... If your cell phone notices that you are trying to make calls, it will assume that you are being a drunken asshole and automatically send SMS messages to all numbers listed in your address book warning of potential assholishness. Thus friend, exgirlfriends, colleagues can prepare themselves and ignore if necessary...  Why the need to add these enhancements?? I was at a leaving drinks 'do' last night - a "cinq � sept", or 5-7 if you will. Montr�al is well known for it...especially when the first of the real summer sun comes... and usually most bars have a terrace and happy hour to compliment... My good buddy Jean-Claude leaves for Madagascar for two years today and so a group of us got together to wish him well, remember the good times...and, well, just to drink large quantities of beer. Sept heures came and went and, as the sun went down, Benoit decided that it would be fun to go out in style and to head to the Ritz Carlton for an astronomically expensive Jack Daniels or two.... so we strutted into Montr�al's poshest hotel bar and placed outselves at a well groomed table. Benoit put on his best english posh accent (which is hilarious as he is predominantly francophone) and we all followed suit. So you can imagine us all plying this up in this trad victorian style hotel lobby bar... we stopped guffawing when the bill came... My favourite pub is always on the way home... which is really dangerous. It's called McKibbons and it's a good ol' Irish Bar on Bishop. Brent works the bar and the gorgeous Nicole works the bar floor... they always treat me like gold and it's just a fun pub to be in... so naturally upon passing it seemed only right to swing in for one...or five... Picture Paul somehow on the roof of my apartment building eating bad pizza and fumbling with cellphone. I knew it was bad this morning when I woke up, but not HOW bad... Jennifer, Aurora, Tamera, Sabrina and Kate... all past girlfriends, or numbers of women I have gotten numbers from and somehow never called... I must have trawled my address book like there was no tomorrow... yeeech... I am such a numbnuts... maybe I should do a TV campaign or start a support group for anyone who has similar cell phone issues... anyone else in?
   My life is rated NC-17. What is your life rated? |
