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04 July 2005 - 11:28 I like Rabbits. Why do I NEVER see rabbits in the Canadian countryside. In the UK, they are everywhere - making new rabbits who do the same. Randy wee knackers! Some hunters bag them and make them into stew. They are freakin' everywhere. Then why not here? Does anyone remember the movie "Watership Down"? Who saw it as a kid? Was it the singlemost terrifying movie you ever saw?? The field of blood? The Black Rabbit? The shredding of rabbits by... um... rabbits? Didn't the author, Richard Adams (or was it Kip Adams - or are they one and the same?), bury a golden rabbit somewhere in England?? ANd there were clues about where it was within the book? And he invited the general public to go look for it? Which caused hundreds of holes to be dug in farmers fields? Which in turn made them quite irate...? What ever happened with that? Maybe I'm mixing Rabbit books up. Mixing. Myxymatosis. It's a disease rabbits get in the UK where their vision gets impeded. They freeze in front of oncoming headlights. The advice, 'back in the day' was "Run 'em over" - "You're doing them a favour". I never fully bought into that theory. Something about the double thump as the car wheels would bounce over crushed rabbit flesh. Vision problems or no vision problems. That meat was murder. Which is nearly the name of a Smith's album. (There weren't CD's then so they were still called Albums".) Still I don't think I would have thought twice about taking a good solid 12-bore to that cheeky scamp Peter Rabbit. It'd teach him to steal my carrots. I like Carrots. They make you see better in the dark. Provided you don't have myxymatosis. Maybe that's why the wee bastard steals carrots. In his blue coat. Jimmy Rabbitte was the lead character in the book/film/soon to be musical "The Commitments". He was also a wee scamp. Why did he never shag Nathalie though? She was the hottest one of the group? Oh wait. He did. According to the film. But it's vague. RAB(C. Nes)BIT is a comedic character played by Scots funnyman Gregor Fisher. To most he is fairly unintelligable. But you can skillfully manipulate his name into our four legged rodent friend. No rabbit-related entry can be made without mention of the original and best: ThumperBoy, could that wee bundle of Irish Stew pack a punch... He'd be able to handle himself in the face of those flesh-eating Watership Down gangstas. T to the H to the Shizzumper! R.A.B.B.I.T must make a mean anagram. I just can't think of one. Can you? I like Rabbits.
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